The Female Takedown
I apologize for skipping yesterday, like I said I picked up extra at work and by the time I got home I completely forgot Monday was rolling around.
So yesterday I was talking with co-workers and mentioned I had to go to Ulta today for a foundation that covers red skin. I’m one of those people where my face doesn’t match my neck at all, even without makeup. They both stopped me and said “what are you talking about? I don’t see any red skin. In fact all the pictures I see you look great, and most the time you’re glowing, even at the gym.”
Now I’m not telling this story to compliment myself. This is with purpose. First of all it took me back. Really? And the second thing I thought was Why can’t all women be like this? Give you a compliment instead of knock you down. I for one was not fishing for a compliment, they asked me why I was going to Ulta and I told them. Later while I was driving I was thinking about ALL THE CRAP people have said to me over the years. Seriously why do we live in a world where it’s normal to take you down instead of build you up?
Here’s a list of things people have said to me over the years:
- Bad skin
- Borderline chubby
- I need to fix the lines around my mouth
- Too thin and I need to eat something
- Thick thighs and chipmunk cheeks, specifically asked “what happened”
- Not skinny enough, but just “okay”
- Cute, but not beautiful
- “You look like a little girl” – this one was insulting in a professional environment.
- “You look so old now that you’re skinny, ew!”- during prep
- That outfit looks cheap.
Do we see a trend here? Not one insult was about my personality, my work ethic, or emotionally who I am as a person. All about appearance. What good comes from this? What good does it bring the other person? What once made me upset, now just pisses me off that people have intent to be mean. Half of these were in person, half were behind a phone or computer screen.
I don’t look at myself in the mirror and see the things people have said to me. Now that I’m 31, I’m way past the insecurity of my 20’s. I don’t worry about what others think about me. My mom told me I’d hit that point in my life. Yes, I still have my own insecurities, I think everyone does, but it’s none of those things listed above.
So if you want to say I tell it like it is, my face shows everything, I’m an emotional person, but also a hard ass, and I would do anything in the world for my family and pups… then go ahead, because that’s ME. Appearance does not define me and negative attacks do not define me.
This is to all those out there (male and female) who have ever been knocked down for no reason at all. Remember, behind that negative comment is someone truly unhappy with themselves. Someone who has to desperately claw at you to bring you down with them. Meanwhile you’re reaching for the stars 😉
And if all else fails.. hit ’em with my favorite memes.
Have a great Tuesday and hold your head up high.