That Thing Called Balance

I probably searched for it for the past four years. Two years of competing, two years after competing, couldn’t get the hang of it.

When I started this blog in 2012 I was what you’d call “skinny”, I mean obviously the name… but before that I was not. I initially lost the weight by working out, yet I didn’t weigh any food, didn’t really count calories, I just ate smart. Competing sent me into a bad spiral that I had no clue was going to torture me for the next four years. I can remember thinking “oh I’m a clean eater! I could never be one of those “if it fits your macros” (IIFYM) people! That’s just the WRONG way to do it, calories of junk. Who was wrong? ME. Who was wrong? THEM. I’m not here to knock anyone, but simply share my thoughts. I say we were both wrong because each side was sitting there analyzing labels, counting calories, weighing each 0.1 oz of food on that scale. How did I ever think I was going to live the rest of my life that way? I couldn’t. Or else one day I’d be the mom counting how many pretzels were in their kids lunchbox. NOT ME. NEVER.

Let me stop here by saying if you do this and you are happy with it, then go for it. Like I said, I’m not here to bash a group of people. However, I was UNHAPPY living my life this way. We’d have cheats and that scale was nowhere in my mind. I’d eat until I was sick, and then some. So is that really “so healthy?”. Not at all. I’d feel so gross and tired the next day, then loathe going back to the dreaded food scale. You understand where I’m coming from now, don’t you?

The funny thing is Tony still weighs his food. He says “I have to”, but when he says it he laughs. I NEVER laughed. I guess Tony likes the control behind it, and he has a totally different perspective on it than I ever did. If he wants to weigh his food until he’s 90 I’ll support him and I’ll help him do the math too! As long as he’s happy.

Anyway, so I know you’re probably thinking “okay, so how did you stop all of that and what do you do now?”. Well there’s an even LONGER story that proceeds this one, but I’m not quite ready to tell that one. Tony says I should and I’m actually rolling my eyes as I write this sentence. All I can say right now is I was medically forced. I paused for a good 2 minutes there because I couldn’t think of the right way to put it. Medically forced seems like a weird fake/vague way of putting it, but it seems appropriate for now.

Before all this,  I DID just stop weighing things. I’d look at food and say oh this looks like an appropriate amount of chicken, or avocado, or whatever I was eating at the time. However there were still times where I’d be a stuffed sausage with food. It wasn’t until the medically forced situation that I could no longer be that sausage. Here’s two things that happened.

1. No eating past 7pm (typically)

2. My last meal I can’t be super full

These two things combined made quite a change in my weight and the way I eat day to day.

Most of the world (myself included) are nighttime snackers. I can’t tell you how many times I’d come home, eat a huge meal and then wash it down with a ton of M&Ms. Then I’d frown when my Lulu pants were a tad tight.

Other times we’d go out to eat and I’d be so full I felt like I couldn’t breathe, then somehow we’d still make it to the ice cream shop at 9:30pm. Now, we still go out to eat and I will still get whatever I want.    90% of the time I don’t finish the whole thing and I take whatever is left home with me. Yes, I go past 7pm on these nights, but on work nights I don’t.

Most of the time during the day I don’t want the junk, but on occasion I’ll eat a slice of pizza, a Rice Krispie treat, or a handful of chips. I never eat to the point of bloated. I mean who wants to eat that and go work out? Not me. And who knew I actually had portion control? Also, not me 😉

It’s been quite a change living my life this way, but I had to do it. It’s crazy how shifting eating schedules changes the food you eat. After four and a half months this is now normal to me.

Now I want to end this by saying you don’t have to stop eating at 7pm to find balance. Perhaps look at eating patterns instead and tweak something there. I guess it’s looking at yourself to find the answer. How cliche huh? Even if it is cliche, I’m happy to say goodbye to the food scale.





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