Why I Do This
Sometimes when I’m alone I think about things. I think about things WAY TOO MUCH. I worry, I over analyze; all the fabulous traits I inherited from my beautiful mama. Sorry mom, but we are a lot alike.
So yesterday I thought to myself why do I live this lifestyle. And by lifestyle I mean “the competition life”. Even though I am NOT always in competition prep, it’s a part of me every single day whether I’m trying to maintain a physique that won’t have me going overboard in the off season, or feeling guilty FOR going overboard. I carry it with me all day.
I did come up with some answers, which I’ll share with you now.
- Vanity. Let’s face it. This one is huge. I’m 30 years old now and it’s becoming increasingly difficult to keep that “Skinny Minnie” body. I can’t go out and have a cheat weekend without facing major consequences. Wanting to look good whether that’s shallow or not is important to me. I’m pretty sure that 99% of people that say a part of it isn’t vanity are lying. It may not be the only thing, but it’s still a reason. Keepin’ it real.
- The Challenge. My favorite part of competition prep has zero to do with the stage. In fact show day makes me physically ill. I get anxious, the day is a blur, and I feel so overwhelmed that I don’t know what to do with myself. I love to see my body change. I love when I can compare this weeks pictures to last weeks and see improvement. I love being able to see if I can push the limits and set a PR in the weight room with the bonus carbs I received that day.
- It gives me something to do. Not that I need to fill huge amounts of time, but I like to keep moving, keep working, and try to achieve a new goal. Bodybuilding has brought so many great things into my life and I was just looking to kill time and make some gains 😉 Because I was trying to keep busy, I ended up meeting the love of my life and now it’s a huge part of why we work so well. Whether meal prepping together, traveling to shows, or enjoying a treat, it’s amazing to have someone by my side who loves it all like I do.
- It’s Not Forever. I don’t know how much longer competing will be in my future, but I don’t foresee keeping up the crazy competition prep when I have a family one day. I kind of think of it as “might as well do it while I can”. I know LOTS of women out there do it and I applaud them for it. However, I consider myself selfish when I’m in prep, and I would never want to live that way with children around. That’s only me though. I know plenty of women that are fabulous moms to their children in prep. I don’t know how they do it! I feel like I ignore Phoebs.
Along with this I do want to point out, that I in no way compete for attention. If I did, I would’ve shared every step of my NPC prep this year instead of hiding for 17 weeks. Yes, I like to share the photos with you guys, but like I said above I don’t really like show day too much. Unfortunately a lot of people do it to fit in, or for their picture to be plastered on multiple instagram accounts. That’s not me. I’m just a gal trying to show the world you can look great at 30 the natural way!
Of course with positives come negatives. I touched on this for 10 seconds in a snap chat the other day and I’ve been thinking about it pretty darn hard lately. There’s rarely any “chill out time”. I had randomly sent Tony a text that day asking “Do you ever think we will be one of those couples that goes home after a long day and just sits down and eats dinner?” Probably not.
It’s made me frown quite a bit. I’m not saying all there is to my life is the gym, but it’s a huge part of it. We “have to get in the cardio” “have to get in the lift”. I also thought I’m lucky I am able to workout when there are so many people out there who cannot. I CHOSE this lifestyle. It certainly didn’t choose me. I suppose it’s one of those the grass is always greener things. If Tony and I ever stopped our fitness lifestyle I guarantee we’d be pretty unhappy. Not to mention all of our friends are at the gym too.
I think these feelings come out when Tony and I enjoy time as “normal people” like we did in Rehoboth. We obviously can’t live that way all the time, but certainly in moderation!
I’m not sure what’s in store for me the rest of this prep. I may get to a point where NOTHING stops me or I may get to the point where I say this isn’t fun and I want to stop. The point is I get a choice.
Is there anything in your life that you question like this? I’m sure I’m not alone!
That’s it for today. Have a great Wednesday 🙂
XOXO With a Cherry On Top,